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I shall begin before the beginning. This is troublesome not only because the concepts of time and sequence had yet to be created. Before there was a moon or stars or time or matter or water or fire or concept or will, there was only HaShem in his indescribable completeness. Any adjective that phrases wholeness, cohesize nature or unity would impart but the smallest measure of the true nature of God. His name, which we refer to as "the name," reflects this nature. It symbolises his everexistence, it is however not pronounced. This lack of pronunciation does not stem from a lack of knowledge. Or rather, in a way it stems from precisely that. It is not that we do not know how to pronounce this name, but that this name has no meaningful pronunciation. It embodies those characteristics of Him that cannot be phrased or expressed. One can say that God is one, or God is all, or God is holy. These are all true, but they all fall far short of the mark, the target being an accurate description of God prior to creation. This includes, of course, the everpresence of God dwelling just beyond the infinite borders of creation. Suffice it to say that at least we can gain an inkling of understanding of this pre-creation state, in retro-active human terms. Even though a concept of one-ness or whole-ness does not yet exist, nor does, as we mentioned previously, a concept of concept, these terms would no doubt come in handy describing God at this juncture, had they been around. Simply put, God existed and there was nothing else in existence, no existence even in which other things may be thought to exist. The redundancy contained within this paragraph is my actual attempt to illumine this self-containing realm beyond wor(l)ds. One thing that should not be overlooked is the bias we have, as created beings. As a creation of HaShem's we were created in order to observe other such creations. Through this observation of creations we are meant to see and understand the Torah in all of it's depths. What you musn't lose track of is this: Everything we percieve is one of HaShem's creations. I highlight this point to remind us all that because we can never directly experience God, any description would apply more to another creation than to God directly. This is the nature of HaShem's indescribability. Indescribable itself is a construct that dwells below and within HaShem, as we ourselves do. Eventually any discussion of this sort will trickle into a pointless cyclic debate.
In discussions with my brother, Namy, we arrived at disheartening results because of these things I've mentioned above. It seems disappointing that one may work all their days, in an attempt to reach the divine source of all things, towards a goal that is unattainable. There are many ways to answer this question and quell this dilemma. The most basic answer is to point out that reaching the divine is possible, our souls, our neshamoth, are fragments/aspects of the creator. When time ends, we return once more to the fold. We cease to exist as we understand existence, yet we are united once more with the source of all things. Once we take that route, it is simple to point out that our essence steps out of space and time, both before our conception and after our death. So that because of the timelessness of it all, we are never actually separated from HaShem. I won't go into this explanation further because It could go on endlessly as well. Besides, I would like to get to the next more crucial point, which is founded on this last one.
Given that a true connection with HaShem is simultaneously both constant and unattainable, this must not be the purpose of our presence here. The Rabbis have always taught us that within the Torah HaShem is anthropomorphised so as to make things palatable to the human mind. I would like to take this a step further. God has built our purpose into nature. In effect he has not only anthropomorphised his presence, but has translated our goals into tasks that are already physically achievable in our world. The first and most basic among these is "Be fruitful and multiply." That particular goal is so closely wrought into our nature that Freud couldn't separate any of our actions from it. If one were to study any particular mitzwah in its complete depth, one would find the same results as Freud. Our actions and motivations are intimately affected by all the mitzwoth. God does not provide us with the secrets to transcend from this world to some other paradise, rather HaShem has given us this paradise and revealed to us the 613 laws upon which the nature of this place was founded. Any person who claims that these laws could or do not possibly exist in nature, would in effect be denying the truth, the emeth, of Torah. For our Rabbis teach us two crucial things: 1) Hashem looked into the Torah and from it He created the world. (the midrash tells us.) 2) The Rabbis teach us of the 613 mitzwoth contained within Torah. Socrates would berate anyone who, presented with these two points, still denied the 613 veins that dwell beneath the skin of the universe.
I know I have wandered quite a ways, the point of this portion of my expression is that HaShem is beyond any percievable boundary, beyond the boundary of perception itself, yet everpresent in the most basic way. This wandering I have done does explain a question I've asked many times about the upcoming Festival of Shavuoth. I've answered it, as have others, in numerous ways, but there are always new answers and new perspectives, one of which I have uncovered in the text just above. Why is Shavuoth the one day of the year when Chametz is offered on the mizbeach of the Temple, the Beit HaMikdash? Chametz represents the meat of physicality, the refined essence, the cream. On a day in which we celebrate the reception of the Torah, the spiritual root of the world, why do we relish in physicality, in chametz? The answer is what I've stated above. That the physical world is a manifestation of the laws/goals which we have been given. If we live our life as proper Torah Jews then the height of spirituality and the height of physicality coincide because they are truly one and the same. In the same way, we are not separate from HaShem, though it may seem He is beyond us, we are as inseparable as the physical and the spiritual.
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a pointilistic circle starts it all,
the tumbling emptiness
before the fall.
a whispered wind
upon the surf
rebounded in the sphere
..once more.
at the beginning,
tomorrow's yesterday,
before it was,
not yet will be,
lost in subtelty
i swear this isn't new..
foreign voice from
my own tongue,
still within my womb,
chewing gum that's chewing me..
fall into my love, my love,
of this endless cyclic tree
carved within it's bark, a tale,
of darkest import scrawled,
of a point.
a pointilistic circle starts it all..
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